Week One: Wherein I discover that all songs are just Nirvana songs

Week One

ABSTRACT: I embarked upon my psycho/social/self-analysis under two primary assumptions.

First, I assumed cataloging songs that randomly pop into my head throughout the day would result in a rich tapestry of varied musical numbers. I anticipated tunes ranging from commercial jingles to pop hits to spirited oldies. I expected choruses. I expected refrains. I expected I could package and sell them as a mix tape.

Second, I assumed compiling my ear worms into blog format was a clever, original idea. 

Conclusion: I was wrong on both counts. First, A close data reading revealed I have Nirvana's "Radio Friendly Unit Shifter" in my head virtually 24-hours a day. Throughout the day - every day - a chorus is constantly repeating "What is wrong with me?" 

Second, my idea wasn't even original. 

To summarize, psychological research can be fucking depressing. 

Oh, and METHOD: I wrote down the songs.  

Data

August 29 

 1.) "Radio Friendly Unit Shifter" begins. 

Probably (obviously) because I played Nirvana songs on YouTube all day, unaware of their dire effects, later. Radio Friendly Unit Shifter (RFUS) rotates with "In Bloom", "Pennyroyal Tea", and "Sifting" in a bizarre internal playlist until I fall asleep.

August 30

1.) Upon waking, I hear a song from The Simpsons. It's in the episode where they visit New York City and see a Broadway show: Checking In: A Musical Journey through the Betty Ford Clinic.  

Except, for some reason, the lyrics in my head are changed to "I'm Steppin' in!" Because I stepped into the living room.

2.) "I'm Checkin'/Steppin' in!" is briefly replaced with a song I made up and sang to the dog. For now, it only has one line - "Don't shit in the house" - sung to the tune of "Master of the House" from Les Miserable, like this:

 

Note: Coincidentally, "Master of the House" is the ear worm that notoriously maddens George Costanza on Seinfeld.

3.) "Do you Want to Dance?" 

Dumb song (Not literally).

August 31

1.) For a brief second, the Folgers jingle -

-when I smelled coffee. But I may have secretly forced the song on myself to avoid admitting to the real song, which was RFUS (one man's forged results are another's "creativity").

2.) Then, another song from The Simpsons; it's the jingle Lisa helps compose in the Halloween episode where billboards come alive and attack the town ("Just don't look! Just don't look!")

I think this was another ploy, though. I knew Folgers wouldn't last long before...

3.) "Dive." 


Theme was becoming apparent.

 4.) My roommate left for the night. Predictably, "Old Time Rock and Roll" immediately played.

September 1

1.) Load up on guns and bring your friends, it's "Smells like Teen Spirit"!

2.) Then, that awful song that's like -

Because I heard it at CVS.

September 2

1.) TLC's "Creep" -

- after I hilariously sung it to describe the cat "creeping" into my roommate room. 

2.) RFUS. Then, fucking "In Bloom"!

3.) TLC's "Creep" - 

- after I sung it to to describe myself "creeping" into my roommate's raspberries.

September 3

[Subject neglected to collect data due to "bullshit fight with Marc." Subject also reports Marc's final words in the argument were, "And The Doors are the best band of all time!"]

September 4

 1.) Walking to project meeting with a client when I hear one of my favorites, David Byrne's' "Big Business":


Strange, because it's not a "big business." Nor was the timing "after the shake-up" (that's when I'm done with the project!). Why now, instead of...

2.) ...when I was walking to the bank? When "Behind Blue Eyes" was playing? 

3.) "Justify My Love" closed out the week. Lame song, but nice to hear in your head when you're justifying document margins. 

Meta-analysis: Clearly, a complete meta-analysis isn't possible on a mere one week's results. Particularly considering I skewed the data toward greater variety and away from people finding out that the only bands I actually listen to are Talking Heads and Nirvana.  

Meta-meta-analysis: Why didn't I just start a regular blog?